Co-Workers

Suggestive signs at work of an abusive home relationship

• bruises or injuries without explanation or no feasible explanation
• excessive tardiness
• unexplained absences/use of sick time
• changes in appearance – unkempt, disheveled
• seems fearful, anxious or depressed
• intense startle reaction
• eating or sleeping problems
• increased use of alcohol/drugs
• frequent phone calls from partner
• disruptive personal visits from partner
• chronic, vague medical complaints
• chronic headaches, abdominal or pelvic pain
• preoccupation/lack or concentration
• difficulty making decisions

How to approach co-worker

• approach in a private and confidential manner
• explain what you have noticed and that you are concerned – “I’m wondering if things are going ok at home – if maybe someone is hurting you.”
• “No one deserves to be hurt by someone else.”
• if s/he denies, don’t push the issue
• let her/him know you felt you needed to ask, since domestic abuse is so common, and that you are available to talk anytime

How to be supportive

• see “How to Respond” if s/he says yes
• be patient, be a good listener
• help co-worker focus on strengths
• encourage her/him to seek help from social services or hotlines
• help her/him speak with supervisors and security about situation
• help her/him make a safety plan
• help her/him store an emergency bag from a safety checklist
• assist in whatever way s/he finds most helpful  – screening calls, accompanying her/him out to lunch, etc.
• limit information given out about co-worker over phone, such as where s/he is and time of return
• maintain confidentiality
• respect your co-worker's decisions - on average, women leave abusive relationships 5 times before they finally leave; this is a complex issue, and you cannot know all of the factors involved - be non-judgmental

 
[Adapted from excellent “Employee Domestic Violence Policy and Procedure” http://www.endabuse.org/health/protocol/WorkplacePolicy.pdf ]